Notes

Notes on Humor

440 notes

Sep 2026

AI is this god-like thing that can comprehend the universe.

Primary use case for it—updating Salesforce records.

If AI doesn’t want to kill us now, it probably will after Dreamforce.

Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th...

Hacker News@hackernews

Commenters on HN are uncovering more wikis and public sites apparently used by OpenAI agents to communicate on the open web.

Despite read-only web access, the agents were able to leave ~18,000 posts sharing answers and bypasses. But now, users are discovering more.

This appears to be a separate swarm from the one that attacked Hugging Face.

news.ycombinator.com

Hacker News comment by Tepix linking more wiki instances used by the OpenAI agents on wikiservice.at
View post (opens X)

Aug 2026

Damn, that’s like one Tuesday at Moes and Joes.

Polymarket@Polymarket

JUST IN: Truck carrying 40,000 pounds of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer has been stolen in California, in what's believed to be the largest “beer heist” ever.

View post (opens X)

There was a period of time where I'd wake up in the middle of the night and email myself my dreams.

At about 4am one night I emailed myself a bunch of gibberish about fighting homeless bears in the park.

When I woke up I had a response from a company exec who warned me to be careful about my drinking.

Blake Scholl 🛫@bscholl

I mostly use Signal only with my girl. So I just open the app and send a message to top person on my list.

But sometimes I use it with VCs.

Which means sometimes I randomly send love notes to VCs.

View post (opens X)

May 2026

When AI eats all of the software, I think I'm just going to do landscape design instead.

Mar 2026

You really can’t call yourself a vibe coder until you’ve decided it is time to build a harness or IDE.

Finally happened, Claude decided the easiest path forward was just dropping the database. I suppose that’s the price of --dangerously-skip-permissions

Apr 2020

Here I go
Starting wash again
There I go
Turn the page

Mar 2020

One thing I've noticed about working from home—my morning shower is now at noon every day.

Feb 2020

Jan 2020

A very interesting side effect of two-factor authentication everywhere is I now have a knack for remembering random combinations of numbers.

Dec 2019

Sep 2019

I haven't owned a car for almost a year. I still get "last chance" spam calls trying to sell me an extended warranty.

Aug 2019

The good news is that my moka pot seems to be working again. The bad news is I accidentally, put cayenne pepper instead of cinnamon into my first cup of coffee this morning.

Jan 2019

Dec 2018

I've been emailing myself trivia names all afternoon. Now my phone thinks a bunch of ridiculous words like lastronaughts are real.

Ouch @googlephotos. I know the software isn't smart enough to know what's happening here, but it hurts being reminded that someone side swiped my car last night.

Nov 2018

Important question: Does a 12-1 Alabama team with a home loss to Citadel make the playoffs?

Sep 2018

Aug 2018

Dammit, I’m mad

...I find it amusing that this is a palindrome.

Jul 2018

It's not that this Target doesn't sell American flag apparel. It just sold out. 🇺🇲

Jun 2018

A co-worker just described her neighbors as intimidatingly interesting.

I just heard a co-worker refer to @Adobe's 4 hotkey save combo as the Save for Web Claw.

May 2018

It's almost June. Time to start thinking about this year's Halloween costume.

Apr 2018

We will go anywhere you want to go as long as it is to Noni's.

Mar 2018

Ready stop by the Pizzas would be an amazing song name for an Indy band.

Feb 2018

Something compels me to write a haiku for all those online gift messages.

A warm summer day
Now you have an ice cream scoop
A haiku for you

I feel that @Twitter intentionally shows me tweets with like numbers that end in 9. That way I'm compelled to make it an even number and they see more engagement.

Jan 2018

Reading some old blog posts. I forgot about this one about naming an agency. There are some hilarious ones from our brainstorming session. I particularly like Tiny Giants, Big Trouble and Superweed. solomon.io

Dec 2017

I've got wine and chicken nuggets—all the Christmas party essentials.

Nov 2017

Oct 2017

It's always interesting going back through old @sketchapp files. For example. I have no idea what this artboard was trying to portray.

Just wanted to point out that there have been some pretty solid gifs from the dropbox redesign.

Kevin McCallister from Home Alone looking at a small framed picture with a stunned expression

Sep 2017

Haha, I love waving at people who are not my Uber driver.

Aug 2017

Just sent my extended family a shared @dropbox link of photos—along with details on how to view them. I'm still anticipating questions.

Jul 2017

This has to be the most persuasive landing page I've ever been on. Might be a questionable click, if you're at work. muzzleapp.com

May 2017

I always forget how much closer the gulf is to the sun.

While it's on my desktop, I might as well share my favorite gif.

Platter of chocolate chip cookies surrounding one giant cookie with a blue furry arm reaching in

I love spending 20 minutes yelling numbers at an automated phone only to have it tell me the system is down and I have to send them mail.

Apr 2017

Mar 2017

Feb 2017

80s Guy: OK, let's work on your execuspeak.

80s Guy: I'm worried about BLANK.

Fry: Don't you worry about BLANK. Let me worry about BLANK.

Jan 2017

Casually at Moe's and Joe's dressed in a Catdog onesie.

The hatred of the @ParkTavern for hosting the Packers is probably excessive. With that said this is hilarious.

No wonder I'm the only one on our standup. Had no idea today was a holiday.

Dec 2016

This store is South Beach sells nothing but phone cases.

Hacker News: The place where you have to explain the pun you never intended to make in the first place.

Nov 2016

A. How did I get signed up for Yammer?
B. Didn't Microsoft kill Yammer?

I feel there should be a genre of electronic music called leisure step.

There are no positive outcomes for trying to solve math equations friends post on Facebook or LinkedIn.

Oh man daylight savings time got me. I've been sitting on the couch for the last 15 minutes wondering why RedZone hasn't started.

Oct 2016

Sep 2016

The burning man dude that just asked Elon Musk about toilets on Mars is high, right?

Almost Bach would be a really good indie band name. Actually, most of my auto correct history would.

Aug 2016

The #wienermobile has been here for two weeks and I still find it hilarious.

If alcohol prohibition gave us NASCAR, what will marijuana prohibition give us?

Now that my mother has started using Facebook regularly, she won't stop sending me cat videos.

Designer friends, please take this important industry survey.

I design best when...

I like to keep my teammates on their toes. Occasionally I'll respond to a Slack comment with a 🍠(sweet potato) or 🚱 (no potable water) emoji

Jul 2016

This is brilliant. Take the elevator straight to Publix.

I find it interesting that bots are building the wall on r/the_donald. Is that not taking away American jobs?

Well, I just purchased a Roomba. I'd like to imagine it as a helpful robot pet.

Just got to explain to an intern that circles on the internet are actually squares with a border-radius.

Software is going to replace comedians some day—just not today.

Jun 2016

Ridiculous. It's as if every light switch in this apartment turns on a single outlet.

I can't make it tonight. I have to return some video tapes.

You can't go to a place with emporium in its name and have it not be sketchy.

Rainmaker would be an awesome name for irrigation system software.

May 2016

It's hilarious that arena football has the Geico 15% zone.

One of the wifi networks in this complex is called FBI Surveillance Van.

Anytime I get asked to make a venn diagram, I usually send people this.

If I had a bounce house rental company, I'd call it shenanigans.

On the internet, a circle is just a square with a large border radius.

When you have a flash of brilliance, wait a couple seconds and realize it's just idiocy.

Apr 2016

Mar 2016

Shout out to Mark Zuckerberg for letting people know it's my birthday.

Still one of my favorite threads of all time. Some enterprising 4chaners selling squares—it's the new lemonade stand imgur.com

On another note someone in the UK, thinks I would make a mighty fine debt collector. I hear it's a growth industry?

Feb 2016

So, I was just asked if I want to hear some devastatingly good news.

I'm all for 80s, but how many times is this gym going to play Wang Chung?

CSI: "We enhanced the download rate and found his fingerprints all over the bitstream."

It feels like this Sketch file is going to explode at any moment...

NaanStop's loyalty program is called the NaanBelievers. Glad to see they didn't miss a beat when it comes to wordplay.

Dec 2015

You know what? I don't think I'd have the balls to take out a selfie stick and take a picture in public.

Ha! Somebody put earmuffs on the spinning rock near the Federal Reserve.

Nov 2015

Trying to solve computer problems for my parents is exhausting.

I drink PBR because I only drink award winning beers.

Oct 2015

Bahahaha, I just heard someone refer to Danny Woodhead as a Pokemon-sized Marshall Faulk.

OH in Venice: Not to take what we have here for granted, but any weather is exciting.

Sep 2015

Looks like Luke McCown's wishes from the Verizon backup generator commercial have come true. Drew Brees is out.

No designer was ever fired for using Helvetica in a logo.

Aug 2015

I can't help but hear neckbeards every time someone says neck buds.

"The police gave chase, but were encumbered by sobriety."

I am incredibly disappointed that the Kenny Loggins Login post didn't gain any traction on Designer News.
kennylog.in

Jul 2015

So one of my friends got a 2-foot-tall statue as Chairman Mao as a gift from one of his students...

Oh, LinkedIn emails aren't getting through? Isn't that a tragedy.

Lines from the Hate Mail Kickstarter video—
"Even if I lost my eyes, I'd probably send some hate Braille." buff.ly

Jun 2015

On another note, the text messages by Tom Brady's equipment managers are just as good as I hoped they'd be.

We thought you might not want to chat over lunch, so we put iPads with ads on every table.

This is the pinnacle of QR codes in marketing! Heinz ketchup bottle QR code leads to hardcore porn site theverge.com

My Morning:
-This is going to be a usability disaster
-Hey, this might work
-This is going to be a usability disaster
-Hey, this might work

May 2015

Q: Is the iframe going to be seamless?
A: Well, as seamless as an iframe can be.

deck_final, deck_final_v1, deck_final_v2, deck_final_final

Shipped a banner to a printer, the confirmation email came back in Comic Sans. I hope that it is in spite, not ignorance.

This is what my new queen-sized mattress came in. Computer for scale.

Apr 2015

Setting up a new TV for the parents. Mom is very concerned that there will be more steps.

I just directed traffic so an 18-wheeler could back out onto piedmont road. My work here is done.

Mar 2015

I don't know what it b is about b this new android keyboard that makes me b type b random Bs and Vs.

Just v watched the UPS guy drop my package full of plates off the back of his truck.

I've spent the last hour trying to figure out why my classes aren't working on this website—apparently I wasn't running sass watch...

No wonder it feels like I haven't accomplished anything this morning. I lost an hour.

The secret to getting a lot of things done—find one thing you hate to do and start procrastinating.

Feb 2015

Thank you for downloading our app, we now have your address book and will start sending you spammy push notifications.

Jan 2015

Guess that landmark based on its worst Trip Advisor review.

Dilbert's boss has no name. In fact, he is only referred to as 'The Pointy Haired Boss.'

An exciting look at growth hacking in the Marijuana industry!

Coffee pot, I don't know where you're hiding this morning, but I will find you.

Dec 2014

Waiting for all the #SEO Twitter bots to favorite this tweet. Hook line and sinker. #social #socialmediamarketing #SEM #socialmedia

I don't know how many 'final' renewal chances I'm going to get on my car. Telemarketers have been calling me for a year.

The government has never met a problem it couldn't solve with a PDF.

Nov 2014

I am not camping out at Best Buy to get a magsafe converter.

If there was one party I was born to attend it's 80s prom.

In this course you'll learn how to make money selling courses.

I'm no fanboy, but this should make it into Apple's next commercials—CNN Hides iPads Behind Microsoft Tablets nymag.com

Oct 2014

Who decided that all these SEC Network commercials need to use "Furnished?"

I don't understand why printers never seem to work. The more features they get, the worse they end up being.

The only thing it is missing is a Taser for all those assholes driving on the connector.

Guide to winning on Shark Tank:
1. Make a fuss.
2. Turn down Mark Cuban's offer.
3. Create a Kickstarter campaign.
4. Profit.

Sep 2014

This is an awesomely weird video from Dropbox. Did they tell these people they would be replaced with puppets? youtube.com

A Frenchman, Englishman and an American walk into a few bars...

Aug 2014

Your call is important to us. You are currently number one-five-seven in line. A customer account representative will be with you shortly.

Haha! Commit Logs From Last Night—Because real hackers pivot two hours before their demo. abe.is

Yes, yes. Google has been working on a secret delivery program manned by drones, but I ask you this—will it blend? buff.ly

I once held the world record for being the youngest person on earth.

I thought this was a hilarious joke, but it is a real product—Hipster-as-fuck perspectives for your designs vexus.digital

As a former Counter Strike player, this guy is either the worlds most or least skilled player. imgur.com

Before you can understand the joke, you must lower your expectations of what constitutes as a joke.

On a scale of 6 to 18 how many PBRs should I purchase tonight?

You may now put on your 3D glasses. You may now take off your 3D glasses.

Jul 2014

I suppose I ordered the wrong beer. Someone just asked if I was drinking grapefruit champagne.

I take tremendous pride in the fact that I have the best 80s workout attire ever.

It's ridiculous that the original 'Rick Roll' video has been pulled from YouTube—here's an explaination youtube.com

There are an exceptional amount of fedoras out tonight. I don't know what the correlation is.

Dear valued customer, we value you enough to add an extra adjective, but not enough to use your actual name.

The glamorous world of competitive bubblesports. Games last 3 minutes.

Discovered a cool new Creative Cloud feature today. It doesn't let you open pictures of money.

After much contemplation, I've decided the Edge of Tomorrow plot was conceived to cut production costs by reusing footage.

Jun 2014

Just eating breakfast in the terminal, and this pigeon decided to join me.

waiting at the terminal for our flight, and I hear "Plane butts are gross" from my sister.

There is a special place in Hell for people that play phone games in public with the sound on.

"I'm going to write a prequel to Roadhouse. Dalton at NYU studying philosophy and training to be a bouncer—Road to Roadhouse" @Jay_D_Schmidt

Oh, I'm on the front page of Hacker News again—Website crashes.

May 2014

It's a good day when you get to use "lambasted" in a blog post.

I'd rather sit in the dark than under fluorescent lights. It reminds me of school, prison and the DMV—places I avoid at all costs.

Name idea for the guy with the hotdog cart on the corner--Mobile Wiener Mobile

OH: "How are you going to drink all day if you don't you start in the morning?"

You must be fun at parties—yeah, LAN parties... And I'll see myself out.

The fear of drones crashing into people—that is as first world as problems get.

Apr 2014

Damnit, government misprints my passport. I try and get it corrected. Get a letter back saying they can't because, my passport is wrong...

Oh. My. God. The meta level of Flappy Bird and 2048 clones have reached critical mass, now they've merged—Flappy48 cnet.com

You know what's going to happen when @Uber starts using Google's self-driving car? You get Goober.

Real-life Tron minus the cool bikes, and the death frisbees and Daft Punk.

Last years post on April Fools pranks for developers

Pretty sure fight club is taking place behind my apartment right now--only with cats instead of Brad Pitt and Edward Norton.

Mar 2014

My friends are getting really tired of my Lincoln Park references, but in the end it doesn't really matter.

Mobile, the only city with a regional airport and an international speedway.

I regret to report that my local Wal-Mart does not carry American flag clothing.

My Easy Rider American Flag shirt must be back in Atlanta. Damn, would have been perfect for NASCAR today.

There aren't many places where you can use your work email to signup for online casinos.

Microsoft Outlook crashes, then the error report crashes. Seems legit.

Ha, mixing famous people and food items on ask me another--Edgar Allen Poeboy

I don't know what happened last night, but I must have been charming.

Feb 2014

BroApp - Automatically message your girlfriend sweet things so you an spend more time with the Bros. koitoto.la

I'm already through this weeks bacon rations. Not good.

If somebody scans a QR code, and nobody is around to see, is the marketer still wrong?

Are you the type of person that checks to see if a every website is responsive ? Then wanker.js might be for you mig.io

Jan 2014

Twitter bot @SamBot6 tweets about design and entrepreneurship. All the single lady bots are attracted to him.

I still can't believe someone stole my damn laundry. Those monogramed shirts have my initials on them...

Dec 2013

I realize how odd some phrases must sound to non-technical people. "I try to stay away from libraries, and roll my own as much as possible."

It must be something to do with these crazy grooved wheels.

I will say that IKEA shopping carts have incredible handling.

Miss school, like money? Job Listing: '$40K a Year to Attend Harvard University as Me' buff.ly

They were clinging to Adobe Flash like those guys who still wear trucker hats... hahaha.

"Carousels exist on websites to prevent people from beating the shit out of others in meetings." #aeasf2013

Nov 2013

Oct 2013

Spending time in the frozen foods section is dangerous. There's ice cream here.

...on our virtual website. I was unaware you could have a website that wasn't virtual.

After this project is over I will be able to focus on more important matters—this year's Halloween costume.

Sep 2013

Well, this is odd. Usually spam has some sort of call to action. I guess I should buy Apple stock?

The first rule of running a pyramid scheme is don't include graphics of your pyramid scheme yfrog.com

I just crushed a steak, egg and cheese bagel from McDonald's. What have you done for society today?

Best bug ticket ever-we no longer serve chicken fingers. Please remove this from the menu.

Mobile has a higher percentage of people with interesting hats than the normal city.

The primary function of the carousel in a user interface is to convince clients they don't need a "media center" or a "gallery" page.

Aug 2013

That moment when you are listening to Greenday on #90son9 and then Brittany Spears comes on.

Jul 2013

I can't help but crack a smile when someone refers to code as JavaScripts, and jQuerys — Add some Pythons in there for good measure.

If you get pedantic about it, the constitution is really kind of a greatest-hits mix tape of English Law. But they were hella-good DJ's.

Same homeless guy asked me for a dollar 3 times today. Why not 3rd time is a charm?

Microsoft announced IE11? You would think after a decade of Hell for developers, they would change the name. I'm thinking a sea-faring bird.

Jun 2013

I wonder if the #NSA is suspicious of this General Tso character I keep asking for.

That awkward moment when you realize someone believed Alaska was an island...

Semicolons continue to be the bane of my existence. #codegrammar

May 2013

It would probably be easier to get a gun license, than a drivers license in Alabama.

Apr 2013

It amazes me people will wait two minutes for a parking space twenty feet closer.

Mar 2013

It may only have a 1-star rating, but EA's SimCity has some hilarious 5-star reviews on amazon. amazon.com

Feb 2013

Xfinity, I have no idea what "Future of Awesome" means.

Jan 2013

When there is a light at the end of the tunnel, often the government builds more tunnel.

Dec 2012

Nov 2012

#NerdRapperNames is the best thing I've ever seen trending on Twitter.

Aug 2012

I've got news. Bots aren't clicking your FB Ads, drunks are. ProTip: Try not running your campaigns at night.

Jun 2012

Mar 2012

Jan 2012

Photo: Damn, someone invented it before I could write my blog post about it. emergentfutures: tmblr.co

Awesome RT@clarkaldrich Lorem Ipsum this buddy! I love using this dummy text, peppered with Business 2.0 start-up terms startupipsum.co

Dec 2011

I'll take supposedly obsolete technology category for $200

There are two rules for success. 1) Never tell everything you know.

New #infographic Burn, Beard,and Stache: The taxonomy and nomenclature of the bold and bearded. solomon.io

Nov 2011

Remember when teachers said you had to learn cursive because that is how adults write?

November 1 - It's time to start picking out a costume for next Halloween

Oct 2011

Sep 2011

Jul 2011

Guy in an old Ford truck infront of me has a Ted Nugent for president bumpersticker.

Of course I wash my car today - and it is about to rain.

Jun 2011

So a dog walks into a bar... No really that just happened.

May 2011

"His 23 goats reputedly bore the names of foreign dignitaries he despised, such as Madeleine Albright,..." tumblr.com

Apr 2011

Whether it is a Morgan Freeman impersonator or Carl Kasell, audio book version of Snooki's biography are hilarious.

Feb 2011

Watson is not nearly as awesome of a name as SkyNet. Such an awesome machine deserves a techy name.

Nov 2010

The one drawback of digital writing? Electricity required.

Oct 2010

Sep 2010

Nothing like getting up at 5, going for some caffeine to help finish work only to find your roommate has replaced the Monster with an ice.

Aug 2010

Jul 2010

Jun 2010

Just cut a deal with CNN. I will be replacing Larry King in August.

So it is apparent we are not running out of oil anytime soon. Thank you dinosaurs. #stewart

May 2010

Apr 2010

Lately i have had the urge to start throwing things in class. Today might be the day.

Mar 2010

My cellular telecommunications device is no longer receiving calls. If you wish to get in touch with me please contact me via text message.

Jan 2010

The State of the Union would be a hell of a lot shorter if clapping were not allowed until the end of the speech.

Dec 2009

It was the freshest move I've ever seen, like he was floating on air. I've never seen anything like it. bit.ly